You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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