What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
