You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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