the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
