i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
