Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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