what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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