i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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