Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
