update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
