i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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