Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
