I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
