It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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