I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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