she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
