We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
