you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
