Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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