I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
