We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize