That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just cut my nipple shaving
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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