You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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