THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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