She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
