i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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