My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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