You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
