what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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