you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
