Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
