Fuck appropriateness.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
