Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It's never too late to be topless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
