He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
