why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
