dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
