Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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