New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think my vagina is haunted
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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