You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
