youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You made out with two different species that night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My feet surprised me
Randomize
