I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
