We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
operation have a gay friend backfired
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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