stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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