I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
