I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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