Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
