I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
