hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
