I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl is more easily done than said...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
