some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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